Sunday, November 1, 2009

Day Sixty - Six or Mommy Needs a Time-Out

So in the post Halloween haze coupled with time-change mania, my children and I were not on our A-Game. We were neither in sync or in the groove. And well... Mommy had a meltdown.

Now I did not hurl myself on the floor as my two year-old did (though I was tempted) nor did I start yelling the same thing over and over as my six year-old did but I would not have survived the white glove test of parenting today. I have no doubts of that. .

There was no perfection pie here

I did not use my calm voice. I did not rise above the melee. I was full on in the "melee". I was sick of the fights over toys. (Legos for goodness sake. They LITERALLY have thousands. They both need the same tiny red block? Seriously?) And the use of furniture as both weaponry and gym equipment. I was sick of my children screaming demands for pink milk from across the apartment rather than coming to me to ask. I was sick of negotiating the Halloween candy disbursement. I was just plain sick.

So I yelled. I used the scary Mommy voice. And then worst of all, I just started crying. Right in front of my children. Sooooo not pretty. And when my husband came in, I literally told him that I needed to go into the bedroom and be left alone for at least fifteen minutes. I did not want to see or hear my children. I wanted a Mommy time-out.

These are the moments that kill me. I adore my children. I want to be the steady force in their life that helps navigate them through the real craziness in life. I don't want to be the craziness. I want them to remember the moments we played dress up like Mommy and Daddy this morning and not the moment when the parental sanity timer went "ding! time's up" and I took a ride on the looney train. In other words, I don't want my children to have extended therapy sessions about their memories of Mother before she started wearing the very stylish if impractical (especially after Labor Day) white long-sleeved jacket. Very long-sleeved.

So I took a time-out and the day was better but I still wouldn't want any TLC film crews following me. And I won't be writing any Dr. Sears style parenting books. I might call my mom, however. She should get a BIG laugh out of this one.

8 comments:

Tammy Howard said...

Mommies also have terrible horrible no good very bad days.

Even in Australia.

Because mommies are people.

Anonymous said...

You call 15 minutes away Mommy-time? I usually need a full hour nap. Don't let the kids get you down. They will remember the good stuff and the rest is something to tell their therapist.

Amira said...

Don't be too hard on yourself! You can't be perfection pie all the time (love that phrase).

Charisse and Holly said...

I could be wrong on this one...but I think once in awhile...it is good to get "Big" with them. Not tearing them down, but just letting them see you get good and mad, cry, then have a good chat after your time out. 99% of the time you are calm and hold it together using the right words. It's good for them if followed up by what drove you to that point. It shows humanity, not a false sense of reality. Have a great day. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

Traci said...

Thanks, everyone. It's good to hear. I did apologize to them for not handling the situation in the best manner. My son said, "That's okay Mommy. It just an accident". I told them both how much I loved them but I also expressed that Mommies have feelings too. I hope that we managed to have a learning moment from the experience. I still hate that it happened, though. I guess we all need a time-out and we all need to grow from the experience -- mommies and kids alike!

kys said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's better to recognize that you need a time-out and take it than to really loose your head.

Unknown Mami said...

You do not need to be perfect. I'm telling you if we just got mandatory lunch breaks and two 15 minute breaks...

mama-face said...

Just a normal mommy day. Really. Children are so forgiving and love their Mommies through practically anything. Everybody needs a time out-think how many times children do. I remember when my children were babies, i handed them off to their dad everyday when he came home from work. I needed the break; and was usually good to go for the rest of the evening.

The fact that you shared this in your blog points to what a good mommy you are.