Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 230 or I Worry

I worry. A lot. Too often for reasons I can't even adequately explain.

I'll be driving in the car and have an overwhelming fear that I have forgotten something. If I don't see my children in the rear view, I run through my mind to confirm that they indeed are not supposed to be with me. I filed my taxes in February, received my refund (spent my refund... no comment), and yet today I stress about it being tax day. Did I forget something? Have I really filed? So maybe when my children tell me that I am crazy, maybe they aren't too far off. Maybe my blog should be 38 and Crazy. Then I could name my new blog "Still Crazy After All These Years".

Why do I do this to myself? It's not that I don't worry about real things, as well -- will there be money in the bank when the electricity is due? Is my daughter's fever something serious? Will you hate that I spent a blog entry on being worried? (Okay. Not really a legitimate worry topic but nonetheless, as I said -- I worry!)

The truth is that my head knows that worrying has no value whether it's over something real or something crazy. Yet I continue to indulge in this less than worthwhile use of my time. This drain on my spirit and distraction from the beauty of my life. Why do I do this? I do NOT know. But I need to figure it out or I will never be fully able to live the life I am meant to live.

Do you worry? For valid reasons or for "crazy'" reasons? What is your coping mechanism?

20 comments:

Frau said...

Think of the song "Don't worry be happy"! Try not to worry about things beyond your control. I worry it's human nature...just try not to so much. Happy Thursday and you are not crazy!

AlyGatr said...

See, my hubby is a worrier like you are. I'm not sure if it's to compensate or just my general nature, but I'm the "everything is just fine so don't sweat it" one. With one exception. For some bizarre reason I always have to know exactly how much money we have. I don't worry about HOW much we have (The Man worries about that for me!), but I just have the obsessive need to know how much is there. Weird, huh?

Tracie said...

I used to be a big worrywart. I'm not sure what cured me but I think when the fibromyalgia set in I my brain got too addled to remember what I was supposed to be worrying about. Sad but true.

chitra said...

I too suffer from worry syndrome. But for only things that are trivial. And result...it ends in head aches. Now a days I am dong lot of breathing exercise and meditation , helping me alot

Courtney said...

I think you just described me to a T. Maybe it's a woman thing?!

Nancy C said...

I have that clutter as well...it especially hits me at night. I hate it because it steals joy and is so unproductive.

Ironically, when Joel was in the NICU, I realized that my worries were far worse than my realities. I worried about him being sick, but when push came to shove, I just found the power to make it through.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

I accept things that I can't change or control!I cope my anxiety or fears by staying motivated.
So, SMILE, Traci!
Love and hugs!
Betty xx

P.S. I've been so busy working on my house lately. But I had to pop in your blog and say Hi!

Aging Mommy said...

Oh I am glad to hear I am not the only one! Next month is storm season here and I am already worrying about how bad it will be this year, will we get any storm damage etc. Going in vacation is a nightmare, I worry about every little detail and drive myself crazy. You are so right too that it is a drain on life and distracts from what is important which is the here and now and just enjoying life but I can't stop doing it either. If you figure it out then let me know :-)

Life with Kaishon said...

Sometimes I worry so much I actually get sick. And then I swear I will not ever do it again, and I do. Darn it!

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I worry in cycles. Sometimes I worry a lot and others I go with the flow. It would be more productive if I could stay in the middle. When I worry all the time I find it difficult to sleep. When I don't worry at all I almost always forget really important stuff...like paying the bills.

Melani said...

I worry. But, I am also rational and I pray and believe in God and that helps me stay focused.

If my husband was not home at the exact time he gets home every day, I would start to worry that he was in a terrible car accident, especially if it was raining out. So, I would do dishes, clean the kitchen or clean something, to keep my mind busy until he got home. He has been in many car accidents, none his fault, so thi is probably the root to my worry.

Say: God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!

Stacey said...

You aren't alone in the worry category. I think all moms do it. At one point about four years ago, my worrying got so bad that I started to suffer from an anxiety disorder and had many panic attacks. I am a What-ifer and I What If'ed myself crazy! I actually went to counseling for a little while and learned some techniques so that when it starts to get out of control, I can calm myself down. Sometimes I still need my hubby's help when it goes overboard. You are definitely not alone!

Momma T said...

Of course worries slip in occasionally for me, but in the past worrying has stripped me of so much "living" that I finally learned to cast my cares on God. How? I just kept being honest in my prayers that I was overwhelmed, and admitting I wanted to trust Him more than myself. I just got tired of being torn and worn.

Pray for peace, meditate on scriptures, and celebrate the good stuff, no matter how small.

Sean said...

Your a mother, you have every right to worry, a lot of things to worry about, whether or not your kids are safe, whether where you dropped them off was a safe place, if you know whose going to be there. You have every right to worry.

....Petty Witter said...

Not a huge worrier until it comes to Husband dearest's health, I come from a family of nervous wrecks and at an early age decided I didn't want to be like them. A huge believer in whatevere will be, will be - I just take a day at a time, trying not too worry over the past or future when there is enough concern in the present.

Traci said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words and the prayers. I shall try to incorporate them into my life when I start to feel that anxiety. I'm glad that I have such supportive people in my life.
:-)
Traci

Tricia said...

Just commented on your UBP blog and find myself commenting again. I'm going on 39 in 2 months, 2 kids under 3 1/2, and could have been reading something I wrote if I were to have time to keep a diary! My 3 y/o tells me "you're a crazy mommy!" and that's a good thing! Am I really writing this blog in my sleep?! Very glad to have found you here!

veterankindergartenteacher said...

Hi there. I found your blog through Friday Follow. If you would be interested in following my blog, I would gladly return the favor.

KB said...

The thing that helps me is to work through all the scenarios and how it will be fine. So the roof leaks? It's okay. We'll get it fixed. My kid's behavior is making me crazy? Okay, I need to step back and think of how I can change things. And it works...about half the time.

Tired Mom T├ęsa said...

I come from a long line of worriers. It drives me crazy that I know I'm worrying for no reason but I do it anyway. People say if you know you're doing it, just stop. Sigh, if only it were that easy.