The Real Title Should Be : The Things That My Mother Said That I Swore I Wouldn't But I Said This Week...
You may judge, but this is my little truth corner so here it is.
1. "Because I said so" -- I used to think this was a cardinal sin. And I never start here but after providing multiple logical answers, multiple times... this is a solid go-to. There is no answer back. Conversation closed.
2. "You're older" -- I hate that I say this to my older child. I was the oldest and no matter how old my younger brothers became, they were always younger which seemed to lessen their culpability because I was always "older".
3. "I don't care who started it, I am ending it" -- Enough said.
4. "I'm going to throw every toy you own in the trash if you..." Insert one of the following -- fight over another toy, don't put up your toys, throw another toy, etc. etc. etc.
5. "You are making Mommy crazy" -- Well, this is true but I am sure that there is a wealth of child-rearing experts that would say that this is a terrible thing to tell your children.
And for the coup de gras, the proof that I have officially become my mother, ladies and gentlemen... "I'm going to call Santa and tell him to put you on the naughty list". And the other night, I did. I called Santa (luckily my children can't read their father's full name on the phone screen yet. This won't work next year.) Okay, you may judge. I know. I know. Perfectly awful.
One thing my mom said that I'm proud to say... "I love you even when you make me crazy. And one day I hope that you have a child just like you".