So over four months ago, I started this journey and at its heart was my desire to look at my life, reaffirm what was working, shed what wasn't, and re-invigorate myself so that I could live more fully and passionately. Not long after my 38th birthday I realized that I was chasing dreams that no longer fit the person I had become and I had no new dreams to motivate me on to be the person I'm meant to be. Because I do believe we all have a unique and necessary reason to be living and I had no idea what my purpose was. I'll be truthful. This was a pretty dark time. I am not one who admits these things a lot. I'm a smiler. And a trudger. I just keep smiling and trudging on, checking off things on my many lists.
I loved being a mother and wife but I felt something missing, Something deep and profound. Thus was 38 and Growing born. And I haven't found my answer yet. But I do feel something stirring in me that has been asleep for a long time. I don't know where it will take me but I believe that it is there, it is real, and it is the journey I am meant to take. (Okay, I got a little heavy there. Hang in there, I'm going somewhere with this. I promise.)
Now all these days later, I have found new friends, new courage, and new enthusiasm. And in this moment of courage I want to create a to-do list for the year 2010 (you know how I love, Love, LOVE lists!). It is inspired by my challenges of the fall, but it is more. One suggestion I received was to make a Bucket List. A list of things I wanted to do before I die. A good suggestion but it seemed too ephemeral. Too out there. So I made a Bucket List for the year 2010. A little more exciting than simple resolutions -- they are things that spark either fear or excitement or both in me:
1. Continue and expand my volunteer efforts
2. Participate in an improv class or group
3. Sing in front of people that I do not know
4. Visit someplace I've never been
5. Finish at least one writing project and allow others to see it
There. That's five. A good start. And I'm still working on a couple of my challenges -- I'm still developing and improving my blog (you might notice I finally have a working button box -- yay!) and that will continue into the year. And if you have something to add, please let me know. The greatest part and biggest surprise of this process has been having people walk this journey with me. Daily I am inspired and cheered by this amazing community and it has made this blog one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done.
So I've put it out there. Do you have a Bucket List? For this year or for any year? If so, what do you want to cross off for 2010? As they say, I showed you mine, you show me yours. :-)