Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day 148 or It's Easy to Forget...

So in further deference to my husband's exceeding right-ness about going to the doctor, I am feeling human again. Almost immediately after the antibiotics hit the bloodstream, I started to feel a difference. I guess my body was pretty busy fighting this bugger off. Thanks to all of you who have been sending the love.

I was actually feeling better enough that I agreed to go to a baby shower today for my cousin and his girlfriend. They are expecting a baby boy. And looking at the tiny, tiny clothes, it is easy to forget that the boy will wear all of those outfits in a two-day period because he will spit-up all over them. Seeing the brand new pack 'n' play with bassinet, it is easy to forget that the baby will not sleep in that bassinet for any period of time allowing more than the start of a load of laundry or a shower -- not both. And looking at her beautiful glowing face, fully made-up with her cute new Mommy haircut, it is easy to forget that she won't have time to look like that again for a LONG time. In other words, it is easy to forget that I am done having babies.

So, yes, I was feeling the "Babies" a little bit. I then asked another cousin (about 6 years younger than I) if she wanted another baby. She did but thought she wouldn't because she had a lot coming up in the next year or two and she didn't want to be 35 with her second baby. Now my daughter turns 3 next month and this blog is called 38 and Growing so you can do the math! Please do misunderstand. She is a sweet girl and this slight wasn't at all intentional but ow!

Since we have established that I am OLD (and I had two very difficult pregnancies), my husband and I have decided that biologically our family is full. And while we may choose to adopt in the future, for now our baby time is over. I collected my daughter's infant toys and have them ready for give away. I am buying clothes with the marking of "T" rather than "Months". And that's good.

Because when I start getting the "Babies", I look at my no-longer baby kids. While they no longer coo, they are able to say, "I love you". And while they no longer fit in the crook of one arm, they fit very comfortably on my lap. So life is about trade-offs. And being a Mommy is especially about trade-offs. For each baby pleasure I give up, I am rewarded with a hundred new and exciting pleasures of a fully thinking, fully expressive miniature human being. So, I guess it's okay that I'm OLD and no longer in the baby business because I am (and forever more will be) in the Mommy business.

Besides, whenever I find myself forgetting, I remember potty training. That does the trick every time.

12 comments:

BONNIE K said...

Once I had 2 kids, the key for me was energy. I had none. And I knew our family was done.

beth said...

two is a good number....one per adult is my motto, especially when they're little....

and you're NOT old !

bless you on the potty training....I would even trade that for what one deals with when raising an 18 year old...so enjoy that pee and poo :)

♥Georgie♥ said...

so glad you are feeling better!
and after my third child I knew i was done...she had a rough start and I knew I couldnt handle going through anything like that ever again...

Frau said...

You are not old! Cause that means I'm really old! Two is a good number...you haven't made it to the teen years, the door slamming years...the I hate you, you are the worst mom years!Two is good!

Mary said...

Glad you are feeling better. Isn't it funny how our mind play tricks on us. We can be perfectly content with our two kiddos and then you get a newborn in your hands and you forget all the stress, lack of sleep and puke that come with them and are sucked in by the beautiful smell of the top of their head.

Robin said...

Hi There..Im so glad you feel better..I think two is a great number for kids..one of each is great or 2 girls like me is also fine...each one requires a piece of you..so for me Ive already given up my 2 best parts..Beauty and Brains..2 times now..so Im really done...LOL..Have Great Weekend..!

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Tracie, I'm sorry I 've not been around lately, my work is so demanding and I didn't know that you were not feeling well.
Sooo glad to see you're feeling better my friend. I agree with Robin, two is a great number for kids nowadays.
But you're still young, you know.
Hope your day is good so far:)
BIG hugs!:o)

Tracie said...

Someone said that once you go from 2 to 3 you move from man-to-man to zone defense.

mama-face said...

Before I reached the end of your post I was thinking about potty training...the absolute worst part of parenting!

I had my surprise baby at age 39! It was not easy...My first reaction when someone tells me they're pregnant is to tell them that I'm sorry. Ha. I'm so messed up. :)

blueviolet said...

You know after my second, I kinda had a feeling of being incomplete for a long time, but time took care of it for me. I'm happy with my two.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Two is good :-) Love the last paragraph. Potty training and the teen years are big reasons why I never had any kids :-)

Glad you are feeling better.

jj

Corrie Howe said...

I agree. I don't miss having a baby for myself. I enjoy each of the stages that my kids are in. However, I can't wait until I have grandbabies to play with and give back.