Well, most of you know that I have been an actress in another version of my life and I am at a point where I would like to get back to it, at least in a limited way now that my kids are not quite so little. A few months ago, I wrote of an audition and so many of you were so very supportive as always and asked to know of more. Well, this week I had a little flurry of activity in my otherwise stale acting life. I had a call back for a leading lady role -- something new for me. I have been kind of stuck between looking too old for ingenues but too young for leading ladies. Now you might think that I would be disappointed to find that I am looking a little older but in this instance, it's a good thing. So I was all excited and worked really hard and the director seemed to like what I did and... today I found out I didn't get the part. But they did call me back for something else in another play so I guess I didn't suck the air out of the room. So a high and a low all mixed into one. I'll keep you posted on the second call-back.
I have to say. I enjoyed performing even for those few moments at the audition and I really started to get the taste back in my mouth. Just like a starving person finally eating at the king's table, I remembered what I have tried so hard to forget. That I desperately love acting and I need it in my life. It's a hard business with LOTS of rejection (reference above as exhibit A) yet I need it much like air or water or any other element.
So that leads me to the rest of my day And my multiple doses of inspiration. They say that one doesn't choose the theatre, it chooses you. Well, lest I start to doubt this, I was surrounded by reminders. First, my kids are finishing up their camp tomorrow and preparing for their weekend performance. To see some of them, well, really all of them to some degree, step out of their shells as they step onto the stage is something to behold and as heart-warming as anything I have seen.
Join that to seeing one of my younger colleagues at the camp has started his own theatre company with friends. Not an easy thing to do. Something I have thought about a lot. Thought. Not did. Just thought. Even went to school to get one of my many (some might say excessive) degrees in the thought of running my own company. But again, just thought. Not did.
Finally. I saw a show this evening that reminded me of what fun theatre can be. That it doesn't have to be all drama (pun intended -- would that be "puntended"?) and angst. It can just be a lovely little lark that the actors and audience go on together. I laughed myself silly. and so did everyone around me. And the actors sure looked like they were having fun, as well. So I was a little jealous. I admit it. Yet another high and low wrapped into one.
So what does all this mean? I'm not sure but I know somehow, some way, I need to get back my acting boots. Because they were made for walking and that's just what I'm gonna do. I think it means that I need to look at ways to make theatre happen for myself. Not an easy proposition but far better than spending a lifetime sitting jealously in the seats. We'll see. But tonight, I have ridden the roller coaster and I feel like if I can't get off, at least I could push the button.