Rich Man, Poor Man

I planned this post to be about my fabulous weekend that included my return to the stage, but that post will have to wait. Today, I had a moment that shook me to my core. It was a simple moment but a heart-breaking one.



It is easy for me to feel poor. I have a LOT of debt. I live in a small apartment. We depend on ancient vehicles that are held together with scotch tape and prayer. (A tremendous amount of prayer.) Our savings account is often rivaled by our children's piggy banks. There are many things that I do not have. Many things that I will never have. If I allow myself, I can feel poor.

But today, I sat at red light. A red light with a handsome man. A man about my age. A man without a home. I don't think that he has walked the streets long. While his clothes and hair were dirty and shaggy, they reflected a reasonable proximity to a more successful past.

I was a lane over and a few cars back as I debated whether to dig out change and offer it to him. And then the light changed. And cars started to move. So I started to move. And I drove off.

I could have gone back. I didn't. Instead. I cried for a few moments and then went on with my day. A day that was centered around Back-to-School shopping. Shopping. Because the reality is this. Yes, I need coupons to make ends meet. And yes, I buy many things second-hand. But I have never known more than a moment's hunger. The only nights I have spent outside the comfort of a bed involved a tent and a campfire. In other words. I am SO not poor.

The point of this post is not about my financial score card. Or that man's either. I have no idea how he got there. My mom always says, "there but by the grace of God goes I". So by the grace of God, I drove by and he stood. And what good did my tears do? They did him no good. I did him no good. Some Samaritan I am.

My husband and I often debate what to do when we see a panhandler. I sometimes give. He does not. The same dynamic is repeated in my parents. My mom does. My dad does not. I honestly don't know what is the right choice. I just know that I can still see him in my mind and as I prepare for bed, I fear I made the wrong choice by making no choice. I wonder where he will lie his head tonight. For even as I lay my head on my pillow, my head and heart are heavy. Very, very heavy,

Out to Play

This is my performance weekend -- yay! yay! yay! I performed for the first time in almost nine years last night. It felt a little like flying over the rainbow. I'll be back with details on Monday and be visiting the neighborhood soon but in the mean, join me "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

This is the Life

My son is learning to play Monopoly. He is passionate about it. When he is succeeding (which in his world is buying properties, he has little interest in collecting rent -- like his mother, he is better at spending than he is buying), he leans back, laces his fingers together behind his head, and states, "this is the life".

I have at times, questioned my path, but it is moments like this that bring my life in clear perspective. Today, I watched my son walk a balance beam. I watched my daughter inhale a milkshake in the lap of her great grandmother, smiling with each sip and slurp. Together they splashed me like the Titanic going down as they demonstrated their ever-growing swim skills in our small backyard pool. And as I write this, he is setting up the Monopoly board yet again.

So as the summer days wane and I look to the scheduling serenity of the school year, I am taking this moment to embrace the last of the summer chaos and remember that yes this is the life!

Sundays in My City

This was the view of Downtown Houston from the window of my rehearsal. Pretty cool, huh?

I showed you mine. Go see some more at the awesome Unknown Mami and her wonderful

Sundays in My City.

Time to Play

This past week, I actually had time to play. I felt sand between my toes, hunted for shells, and thrilled at my children's delight as the waves crashed around them. In other words, I had a vacation. Something I can't remember having in a LONG time.

Truthfully, I needed it. To clear my head and reconnect with my family. It has been a crazy summer but not without benefit. I already posted about my new writing gig over at Dr. Smith's. Also on the professional front, I will be acting. It is a small Staged Reading Series but nonetheless, I will be on a stage. After almost nine years! Yay! (Thanks to all of you who have been following my attempts to revive my ancient career with a resume that can be read in hieroglyphics!)

On a lighter note, I finished two books! It took me seven months buts I did. I wrote about them here. And I got to see a film with my kids. All in all, an incredible week.

I have done a lot of thinking -- it's amazing what the sea does for me -- and I have more to share but I just want to say I'm back to life feeling far more refreshed than I have in some time!

Happy weekend, all! I hope you find time to play!
:-)

Turning the Page, Part 2

Okay, it's taken me exactly one month to turn the second page. And no, my new site is not finished. (My fault solely -- it's taken me some time to get my vision together but we are on our way!) I was also waiting on some announcements which I can now make. So let's start there.

In my previous Turning the Page post, I alluded to an exciting opportunity. Well, now I can tell you that if you aren't sick of me yet, you can find me over at Doctorsmiths.com. I am writing as a Premium Parent for them and my first post goes up today. I am amongst some amazing bloggy ladies so I hope that you will check us out.

I am also now an affiliate for eShakti. You may have noticed my pretty banner on the left. I was lucky enough to review a dress of theirs a few months ago and I loved it so much that I agreed to be affiliated with them. They make beautiful dresses that can be customized and I have personally worn my dress several times and I am complimented EVERY time. So check them out, as well.

And for the record, in the case of both eShakti and Dr. Smith's, I am only working with them because I use and believe in their products. I am truly excited by both opportunities!

Now there are many a thank you outstanding. First off, (and she has no idea that I am doing this) -- I owe an ENORMOUS thank you to Unknown Mami. She is not unknown to me so I can attest to her brilliance and beauty in person. Think that she is lovely and funny on-line, triple that plus one and you've got her. She has been a constant source of support and friendship to me as a blogger and I would not know many of you had she not introduced me. I love her on-line and in real life. No way I could turn this page without her.

Next to the way overdue awards. I am terrible with awards. Not because I don't care but because I do. I am so honored that you shared a little love that I toss and turn on forwarding them properly. So I start a post that day and then I stop as I ponder what fabulous blog to award. I love so many of you guys so I keep this detailed list of who I have already awarded and when I did and then I look through those I haven't and I agonize. So I put it off. And then time starts to pass. and the guilt starts. And then more time passes and then I am embarrassed and UGH!!! So to those of you who have been gracious enough to pass them on, please forgive my lack of graciousness. As this moment inside my head has demonstrated, I mean well. But I am biting the bullet and acknowledging all of you. This may take a while.

Doreen over at They Say Everyone Has a Story, This is Mine gave me the Versatile Blogger award. Now I must share 7 things about myself that you may not know. I'm not sure if I have left anything to mystery, but we'll see.


1) My eyes change colors -- the center of my eye is dark blue and they are surrounded by an amber color which causes them to look green at times, light brown at times, and dark blue at times (especially when I cry)
2) I love old TV shows -- Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke, Maude, etc.
3) I have three fake teeth -- when I was 16, I had a terrible car accident in which I smacked my face into a steering wheel. I smashed all the bone under my nose and knocked out the top front three teeth. Since then I have worn a bridge.
4) My daughter is named after a David Sylvian song.
5) I watch way too much TV though I am seriously considering cancelling cable to break free of the bondage of my addiction
6) I love carbs -- not the complex kind, but the very, very simple kind -- like brand, new soft white bread. I can't stand healthy bread. I don't want to work that hard. Sorry, healthy friends!
7) I have read "The Secret Garden" at least twenty times, including several times as an adult

Now I must bestow this honor onto 15 newly discovered blogs and they must share 7 things about them selves and pass it on. These are a mix of very different blogs -- some Mommies, some artists, and some giveaways. All are great.

1) Tracie from From Tracie
2) Mum in Flip Flops from MuminFlipFlops
3) Lemony Renee from Of Lemons and Honey
4) Templeton's Fury from Circling the Cuckoo's Nest
5) Leiah from A Southern Belle Trying Not to Rust
6) Ericka from Alabaster Cow
7) mathet zin from Myanmar (Burma) -- a beautiful love letter to a country
8) Michele Chastain from Fake It Til You Make It
9) Jane from Adoption of Jane
10) E.L.M.Dyck from Let Me Think -- she also gave me an award as you will see below
11) Dana Chabino from Daily Paintings -- Abstract - Impressionist Painter -- gorgeous artwork shared (almost) daily
12) Connie from The Young and the Relentless
13) Bridget from Readaholic
14) Kelly from Kelly's Lucky You
15) Jeanette Huston from Mommy Blessings in Small Bundles -- Giveaways and Reviews

A fabulous man around town and a globe trotter, as well, Subu.PS over at Passion for Road Trips and E.L.M.Dyck from Let Me Thinkgave me the Beautiful Blogger Award.

Share 7 things you find to be beautiful around you.

1) My husband -- enough said
2) My son's crooked smile
3) My daughter's chocolate eyes
4) The sun coming up through my window
5) My growing grapevine
6) Steam coming off of a cup of coffee brought to me by my husband
7) The sound of my children's laughter

Nominate 7 bloggers or more.

1) Doreen from They Say Everyone Has a Story, This is Mine -- I would have listed her above but she was kind enough to pass that award to me, so here is my opportunity to spotlight her
2) Living Our Dash
3) Alicia from A Beautiful Mess
4) Anastasia from Sweet Butter Bliss
5) Aging Mommy from Aging Mommy -- she is a gift giver, as well; see below
6) Holly from 504 Main
7) Francesca and Kacey from Mayhem and Moxie

And in my embarassment of riches, The Improbable Housewife and Aging Mommy gave me the Honest Scrap Award.

As I was supposed to tell ten things about me, I will simply add three to the seven above. Because really, I'm not sure you can stand to know much more!

8) I think that if the choice was between Heaven and Mint Chocolate Ice Cream, it would be a very hard decision
9) Though I don't share them here, I have very strong political views which are very often in opposition to most people I am related. I am something of a black sheep.
10) I am a serial hobbyist -- by this I mean, I pick up hobbies, get completely obsessed with them and then allow them to gather dust amongst other lost pastimes. This happened a little with blogging. I was visiting 50-60 blogs a day until my family cried "Uncle". I then ran out of steam and blogging lost a little luster. I think I have found a happy balance now, however. I still love visiting and blogging but I have to remember sunshine, sleep, and oh yeah -- my kids!!! :-)

And I will round out the group to ten more beloved blogs:
8) Confessions of a Fitness Instructor
9) Serena and Brandon's Playhouse
10) Shelley's swag


Finally, my good friend, Andrea over at Good Girl Gone Redneck gave me this award.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Well, after this time away, I definitely see myself living at the ocean. I just feel more alive there. And seeing my children and how comfortable they are in the water has inspired me. In fact, I have really spent the last week visualizing how I can get myself and my family living seaside all the time. (I'll be writing more on that soon.) So I see myself there. I also see myself writing professionally and hopefully performing on-stage at least once a year. Also, frighteningly, in ten years I will be the parent to two teenagers -- one of them driving. ARGH! So I see myself even more sleep deprived. But all in all, I see myself living my vision board! Here's hoping!

There are probably a million other thank yous owed. I have made the greatest friends through this blog. Mostly, I want to say thanks for sticking around this year and especially this summer. It has been a crazy one. I'm looking forward to school starting and life resuming some routine. Then I should be able to get back to my passion -- reading and writing. Blogs, that is.

Sitting a Spell

So the family and I are headed for some much needed family time. We are staying at a beach house and I am not sure of the internet connectivity. Internet or no, however, I think that my family needs some connectivity with me without a laptop. So for the next few days, I am going to sit a spell. I'll come a-calling on y'all next week. (That was for my Southern folk!)

Have a wonderful weekend. See you soon.
:-)